so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I am available for nakedness
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
