I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
