I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
