and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
