When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize