I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
