Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize