we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Did I show you my penis last night?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
