You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
