I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize