The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
