I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
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