I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
