How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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