But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
