I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We have started to decorate penises.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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