I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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