Moan for me like Helen Keller
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
