this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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