sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
