I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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