You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
