my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
