I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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