hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
