kristin has been a bad kristin
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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