sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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