i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
