You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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