i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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