you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He better not be in your backpack
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
