You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
