if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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