His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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