So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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