I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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