Well douche your snatch and let's go!
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize