There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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