Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
