if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
