i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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