I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize