The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
