cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
no you cant smoke seaweed
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
