North Korea, Best Korea!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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