I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
