the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
