i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Dick very happy bro
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
