Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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