We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
