do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Non-Jews are for practice
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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