What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize