Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
