ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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