That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
