she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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