All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
